Friday, September 30, 2011

Last caress.

Eat me bitches! At work today I decided to play some dimmu borgir until my boss came in and demanded I turn satan's music off. Aw, christians. I may have blasted it a bit  louder.... Ugh, I forgot just how much I loathe my job. Honestly, I am surprised I still work there after five years. How pathetic sounding...but, fuck off, I have stock. Enough about my daily torment, I am off and ready to celebrate! Debauchery never felt so right.  Dancing should definitely happen soon enough. Anyone care to join? I have an outfit just for you....

I'm swearing off dick for a while.

Thursday, September 29, 2011

Ce Jeu

Boy, am I happy to have left work, prematurely. I have happily sat around an empty house watching movies, and eating macaroni and cheese. YES! I said eating! Finally, some peace of mind. My appetite has come back and I await more fat upon my thighs! 

Guess I should expect to go on the diet and exercise kick tomorrow if my well being seems promising. 

Today, I adore myself with black hair. It is the only color I want, ever again. Many colors have been on these strands, but darker hues just look best. I have also realized I have the body type to pull off some pin-up fashion. So, cheers to wasting my money on new clothing and accessories soon, because I want to look good. I really want to learn more pin-up hairstyles! My curves and dark hair should accentuate my concept.

                                                                      Like this right here!

Ooooh...and soon I am to take a motorcycle course! Damn it, I want a bike terribly! I think it would be so exhilarating to ride so freely! If you have been somewhere with me, you know my intense infatuation with driving my vehicle as it is. So... a motorcycle just seems like a new love. I see so many riders and, that should be me! I have no idea what type of bike I want yet, I guess only time will tell.

On that positive note, I leave you. Excited and ready to move on.

Wednesday, September 28, 2011

Better than fine.

As of late, I am dreadfully sick of my body. Have been terribly ill for three days now. Fevers of one-hundred and three...sore tonsils...can not sleep...can not eat. Throat so swollen I can not stand the feeling of water, among any other liquid, merely grazing it.

I feel like a useless wretch. Before all of this, I had felt so accomplished. Started Shaolin Kung-fu and yang style Tai-chi about six months ago, and had been excelling quickly at it. Had not smoked, nor drank, in all the time of my training. Lost weight, dieted, everything seemed rewarding. No males, no problems. Well it all went to shit quickly. Lo and behold I got sick and I've been out of training for two to three months. Gained all my weight back, if not more....

Alcohol came back into my life. Rearing it's ugly head...but how I love it so. 

The American dream... 

Change is necessary.

Many men have come and gone. Some cared more than others. Why is it I care for the ones who show less affection? Is it simply the past that has instilled this into my being? My morals and values... have they completely dried up? All in all I know I am a loner. Dying alone is my ultimate fate...but why sit here alone for so long, alive? Those movies and stories only poison the minds of the women and children, faint of heart. Sitting and pouting at the very thought of a romance portrayed so effortlessly. As if in life, it is as easy as those very stories we read. I shall not succumb to it, for I know better.

Negativity is not something I thrive upon, I just find myself in dampened spirits tonight. The reason for this very blog is for positivity, personal growth, and a sort of venting means. My dieting methods and exercise records will also be written here. With that I am of to sleep, for I have work at five fucking a.m.